who
reads
every word
any more

?

the cards said,
don’t let yr cups spill over.
I saw a man with
an electric banana violin
amped up the sadness
a single string sighing
over the sound of negotiation

stole my heart
in a hawaiian shirt

the buskers here are
fanged with talents

can you imagine once
I contemplated fucking
my cousin
there’s no telling
which one
though

chaturbate / chasterbate / chaturbait

we’re dicing onions again / one bulb for every year / it’s the only excuse we have / to grieve

weed makes a head / like a chainsaw split / grinning and wet-tongued / lift me up off the kitchen counter where we’ve been commiserating / in the drenched cig smoke night / shotgunning the stars / so I can count the spiderwebs / you forgot

wet-cunted and filled / a sore-throated dream / bellyaching / a very singular something / she said / aren’t you / aren’t you something / I hesitate a sneeze / mordant and curled / something like dipping your hand in a freezer left open overnight / trying to hurt and failing / 

we told our mothers / we wouldn’t rise to the lure / but the fish here / can fly

we had it / just to prove / we could say / something / to someone / you know / what I’ve had? / I’ve had / it / shoehorned in / every pathetic chance / I could get / my fingers in

sticking my digits / into the swiss holes / of your cheese / and squeezing

chest-on-chest contact / in my gritted consciousness I / feel the immediate anxious vibrations / fzfzfzfzfz / a heartbeat that doesn’t slow in sleep / a gorgeous goldleaf guilt / sad-placed pulse / when I still spoke to tai / apologising for his aura / and being prophetic about / insomnia

I slept too well last night / for the circumstances

we built a shrine / to stave off the notion / that we needed / to be persons

need / to feel bigger / better / sometimes / ego consume us / mother inferior / telltale snark / jimmied locks / settle / settle down / no slow burn that time or this / rejection / of my desire / to not desire / I don’t see a point in waiting she said / if you already know / well / 

what about now

I miss G / even if he makes me feel awkward at times / and I mishear his accent / one of those greatly neurotic but impressively cheery people

I struggle to show affection to friends / that doesn’t border on the / disingenuous